Part 6: Cat’s Eye
Chapters 28 – 32

There is a parallel between the present day Elaine and the past when Elaine stops to help a drunken woman on the street whom others are ignoring. The incident involves helping the woman to her feet and giving her ten dollars, but it leaves Elaine feeling guilty. It conjures images of the time Elaine’s mother seemed aware of Elaine’s bullying problem but did little to intervene, other than suggesting that Elaine did not have to play with the girls if she did not want to. The woman’s green eyes remind her of Cordelia.

The past narrative continues when Elaine is in fifth grade and the bullying is becoming worse. Elaine feels distressed but finds that she can faint, like ‘stepping out of her body’. This helps alleviate some of the bullying about the way she walks or talks which the girls are focusing on. This ability to remove herself from difficult situations is the start of many escapes.

Part 6 Quotes

What would I have done if I had been my mother? She must have realized what was happening to me, or that something was. Even toward the beginning she must have noted my silences, my bitten fingers, the dark scabs on my lips where I’d pulled off patches of the skin. (Elaine) Chapter 28

Other people thought it was about female slavery, others that it was a stereotyping of women in negative and trivial domestic roles. But it was only my mother cooking, in the ways and places she used to cook, in the late forties. (About Elaine’s paintings of her mother) Chapter 28

I made this right after she died. I suppose I wanted to bring her back to life. I suppose I wanted her timeless, though there is no such thing on earth. These pictures of her, like everything else, are drenched in time. (Elaine about the painting of her mother) Chapter 28

I’m a fool, to confuse this with goodness. I am not good.
I know too much to be good. I know myself.
I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. (Elaine, after helping the drunk lady) Chapter 28

I keep my cat’s eye in my pocket, where I can hold on to it. It rests in my hand, valuable as a jewel, looking out through bone and cloth with its impartial gaze. (Elaine) Chapter 29

I think about becoming invisible. I think about eating the deadly nightshade berries from the bushes beside the path. I think about drinking the Javex out of the skull and crossbones bottle in the laundry room, about jumping off the bridge, smashing down there like a pumpkin, half of an eye, half of a grin. I would come apart like that, I would be dead, like the dead people.
I don’t want to do these things, I’m afraid of them. But I think about Cordelia telling me to do them, not in her scornful voice, in her kind one. I hear her kind voice inside my head. Do it. (Elaine) Chapter 29

All fathers except mine are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers. But fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home the fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to them than meets the eye. And so we believe the belt. (Elaine) Chapter 32

I’m beginning to feel that I’ve discovered something worth knowing. There’s a way out of places you want to leave, but can’t. Fainting is like stepping sideways, out of your own body, out of time or into another time. When you wake up it’s later. Time has gone on without you. (Elaine) Chapter 32

Part 7: Our Lady of Perpetual Help
Chapters 33 – 36

Trying to bridge the now and the past, Elaine looks for old names in the phone book to see where her friends are at that moment. She fails to locate the names she is looking for and comments on how the likelihood of changing names after marriage would make it difficult to find her female friends.

After church at the Smeaths, young Elaine overhears Mrs Smeath and her sister Mildred talking about Elaine and calling her a heathen. Mrs Smeath reveals that she knows about the way Elaine has been treated and has done nothing to stop it believing that it is because the others can sense she is not right with God. When Mrs Smeath sees Elaine has heard she simply and unremorsefully adds: ‘Little pitchers have big ears.’

Elaine has lost faith in the Smeath family but not entirely lost faith in God. She discovers a card on the way home from school that one of the Catholic boys must have dropped with a picture of the Virgin Mary on it and places new trust in her.

The bullying comes to a climax when, after the girls giggle at Cordelia slipping over, Cordelia throws Elaine’s hat from the bridge into the ravine. Elaine goes to retrieve it and is caught in the freezing water. She looks to the bridge expecting to see the girls there to help but they have fled. Later it is revealed that they went to Mrs Risley and lied, saying Elaine had been detained at school. Elaine is close to death and sees a vision that she perceives as the Virgin Mary coming to help her. Elaine’s mother finds her and takes her home. After several days recovering Elaine returns to school and rejects the girls. The bullying is finally at an end.

Part 7 Quotes

‘What can you expect, with that family?’ says Mrs. Smeath. She doesn’t go on to say what’s wrong with my family. ‘The other children sense it. They know.’
‘You don’t think they’re being too hard on her?’ says Aunt Mildred. Her voice is relishing. She wants to know how hard.
‘It’s God’s punishment,’ says Mrs. Smeath. ‘It serves her right.’ (Aunt Mildred and Mrs Smeath about Elaine) Chapter 33

Her bad heart floats in her body like an eye, an evil eye, it sees me. (Elaine about Mrs Smeath) Chapter 33

I decide not to pray to God any more. When it’s time for the Lord’s Prayer I stand in silence, moving my lips only. (Elaine) Chapter 33

I can no longer pray to God so I will pray to the Virgin Mary instead. This decision makes me nervous, as if I’m about to steal. My heart beats harder, my hands feel cold. I feel I’m about to get caught. Kneeling seems called for. (Elaine) Chapter 34

I look at her. She wants me to go down into the ravine where the bad men are, where we’re never supposed to go. It occurs to me that I may not. What will she do then?
I can see this idea gathering in Cordelia as well. Maybe she’s gone too far, hit, finally, some core of resistance in me. If I refuse to do what she says this time, who knows where my defiance will end? (Elaine) Chapter 35

You can go home now, she says. It will be all right. Go home. I don’t hear the words out loud, but this is what she says. (Elaine’s vision in the ravine) Chapter 35

I know who it is that I’ve seen. It’s the Virgin Mary, there can be no doubt. Even when I was praying I wasn’t sure she was real, but now I know she is. Who else could walk on air like that, who else would have a glowing heart? (Elaine) Chapter 36

‘It fell over the bridge,’ I say. I need to get this lie over with as soon as possible. Telling the truth about Cordelia is still unthinkable for me. (Elaine) Chapter 36

‘I don’t know and I don’t care,’ I say. I’m amazed at myself.
‘You’re being insolent,’ says Cordelia. ‘Wipe that smirk off your face.’
I am still a coward, still fearful; none of that has changed. But I turn and walk away from her. It’s like stepping off a cliff, believing the air will hold you up. And it does. I see that I don’t have to do what she says, and, worse and better, I’ve never had to do what she says. I can do what I like. (Elaine) Chapter 36

Part 8: Half a face
Chapters 37 – 40

In a memory prompted by her present day visit to churches in Toronto, Elaine remembers going into churches with her husband Ben. She recalls seeking out the Virgin Mary statue, which reflects her time in the ravine and her devotion to Mary. She seems to ‘lose time’ and Ben finds her on the floor of the church.

In the continuing narrative of Elaine’s school years, there is a new strength to a resolute young Elaine now free from her toxic circle of friends. It is not until events conspire forcing Cordelia’s return to the local high school, after her expulsion from another school at the same time Elaine is starting, that they are reunited. However, the power dynamic has shifted and Cordelia seems weakened by her experiences away from Elaine while Elaine has become sharp mouthed and at times, cruel. This power shift is notable and involves Elaine forgetting many things that had happened before. The exploration of memory in this chapter involves the notion of selective memories. The title of the chapter, named after a comic book character, depicts the two sides of a person: public and private.

Part 8 Quotes

I could see what these were for: she was a Virgin of lost things, one who restored what was lost. (Elaine sees a statue in Mexico) Chapter 37

I’ve forgotten things, I’ve forgotten that I’ve forgotten them. I remember my old school, but only dimly, as if I was last there five years ago instead of five months. I remember going to Sunday school, but not the details. (Elaine) Chapter 38

Time is missing.
Nobody mentions anything about this missing time, except my mother. Once in a while she says, ‘That bad time you had,’ and I am puzzled. (Elaine) Chapter 38

I’m tired of having long wavy hair that has to be held back by barrettes or hairbands, I’m tired of being a child. I watch with satisfaction as my hair falls away from me like fog and my head emerges, sharper-featured, more clearly defined. (Elaine) Chapter 38

Seeing Cordelia, I realize that I don’t look like a teenager, I look like a kid dressed up as one. I am still thin, still flat. I have a ferocious desire to be older. (Elaine) Chapter 38

She knows the rituals, she knows how we’re supposed to be behaving, now that we’re in high school. But I think these things are impenetrable and fraudulent, and I can’t do them without feeling I’m acting. (Elaine about Cordelia) Chapter 39

A lot of the time my brother doesn’t seem aware of me. He’s thinking about other things, solemn things that are important. He sits at the dinner table, his right hand moving, pinching a breadcrust into pellets, staring at the wall behind my mother’s head, on which there is a picture of three milkweed pods in a vase, while my father explains why the human race is doomed. (Elaine about Stephen and her father) Chapter 39

‘Time is a dimension,’ he says. ‘You can’t separate it from space. Space-time is what we live in.’ He says there are no such things as discrete objects which remain unchanged, set apart from the flow of time. (Stephen to Elaine about time) Chapter 40

Part 9: Leprosy
Chapters 41 – 46

In a total shift of power, it is now a tenth grade Elaine that is in control and mocking the other girls. First she turns her attention to their former friend Grace, and she and Cordelia poke fun at her, then Elaine teases Cordelia and takes some delight in the process, apparently having forgotten what took place years ago and suggesting that her cruel side may have been developed by those events, events which are now repeating themselves – hurt people hurting people. The two girls progress through school with Elaine doing far better and enjoying zoology and biology while Cordelia struggles and eventually leaves the school. Elaine discovers while drawing cross-sections for biology that she wants to be an artist, a painter.

A mature Elaine heads to the gallery and Charna is enthusiastic about the newspaper piece on Elaine’s retrospective but Elaine sees all the comments in a negative light. She envisages that Cordelia will see the article and want to attend the exhibition and see a picture of herself. It appears that Cordelia still has some psychological hold over Elaine. The idea that our past lingers with us is explored by Atwood who shows how the past shapes character but also that memories can be selective and can persist, much like Stephen’s concepts of time not being so linear but more like a dimension; some parts of our past are not far away in the present. It is this thought that is reiterated when Elaine thinks of the only painting she has done of Cordelia, expressing how she struggled ‘to fix Cordelia in one time, at one age’.

Part 9 Quotes

Eminent, the mausoleum word. I might as well climb onto the marble slab right now and pull the bedsheet over my head. (Elaine reading her review) Chapter 41

This is the only picture I ever did of Cordelia, Cordelia by herself. Half a Face, it’s called: an odd title, because Cordelia’s entire face is visible. But behind her, hanging on the wall, like emblems in the Renaissance, or those heads of animals, moose or bear, you used to find in northern bars, is another face, covered with a white cloth. The effect is of a theatrical mask. Perhaps. I had trouble with this picture. It was hard for me to fix Cordelia in one time, at one age. (Elaine) Chapter 41

Cordelia is afraid of me, in this picture.
I am afraid of Cordelia.
I’m not afraid of seeing Cordelia. I’m afraid of being Cordelia. Because in some way we changed places, and I’ve forgotten when. (Elaine) Chapter 41

Cordelia wants to point out Lump-lump Family cars, but I’m tired of this. I have a denser, more malevolent little triumph to finger: energy has passed between us, and I am stronger. (Elaine) Chapter 42

I have such a mean mouth that I become known for it. I don’t use it unless provoked, but then I open my mean mouth and short, devastating comments come out of it. (Elaine) Chapter 43

It’s as if this girl has done something shameful, herself, by being murdered. So she goes to that place where all things go that are not mentionable, taking her blond hair, her angora sweater, her ordinariness with her. (Elaine) Chapter 44

But when Cordelia’s father is there, everything is different. (Elaine) Chapter 44

‘Just safe,’ she says. ‘When I was really little, I guess I used to get into trouble a lot, with Daddy. When he would lose his temper. You never knew when he was going to do it.’ (Cordelia about her father) Chapter 45

Cordelia’s face dissolves, re-forms: I can see her nine-year-old face taking shape beneath it. This happens in an eyeblink. It’s as if I’ve been standing outside in the dark and a shade has snapped up, over a lighted window, revealing the life that’s been going on inside in all its clarity and detail. There is that glimpse, during which I can see. And then not. (Elaine) Chapter 45

I know she has expected something from me, some connection to her old life, or to herself. I know I have failed to provide it. I am dismayed by myself, by my cruelty and indifference, my lack of kindness. But also I feel relief. (Elaine) Chapter 46

Part 10: Life Drawing
Chapters 47 – 55

Present day Elaine is having lunch with her ex-husband, Jon. She considers their former troubled relationship and how they used to throw things at each other. Now that they are more mature and settled she has developed a fondness for him. She realises that she finds it easier to forgive men than to forgive women, a gender comment reflective of how boys and girls were first observed by Elaine in childhood when she noticed boys could fight, punch and kick then move on. Her own experiences show that girls were much more cold and deep-cutting. After their lunch, she feels good about their current relationship and thinks about the painting she calls Falling Women, about the men who caused women to fall. This idea of men causing women to fall evokes memories of Joseph Hrbik, Elaine’s life drawing teacher at university.

Stephen is arrested while studying Astrophysics in California. He wandered onto a military base while chasing a butterfly, an example of Stephen’s curiosity about the world and nature being trumped by brute force, and foreshadowing his death while he innocently went on his way to a science conference. Elaine goes back to school and spends time with Josef and although he is seeing Susie, they sleep together. She is depressed at the time and is going through the motions looking for meaning in life. Cordelia contacts her and they meet. Cordelia is performing in small acting parts with a travelling Shakespeare company.

Art, Religion and Science are represented in this chapter. Cordelia’s involvement as an actor includes her in the list of ‘artists’ for this novel. Jon, Cordelia, Susie, Mr Krbik and Elaine are all passionate artists that fluctuate between manic passion and deep depressions. Contrasting this are the conservative characters like Ben, the Christian Smeaths and Jewish Mrs Finestein who are stable but less creative. The innocent science-loving characters, Mr and Mrs Risley, Stephen and Mr Banerji are nature seekers in a world that is cruel to them.

Part 10 Quotes

There are several diseases of the memory. Forgetfulness of nouns, for instance, or of numbers. Or there are more complex amnesias. (Elaine) Chapter 47

I look at him with the nostalgic affection men are said to feel for their wars, their fellow veterans. I think, I once threw things at this man. (Elaine about Jon) Chapter 47

Forgiving men is so much easier than forgiving women. (Elaine) Chapter 47

His view of life has darkened since Mr Banerji returned to India. There is some obscurity around this: it is not talked of much. My mother says he was homesick, and hints at a nervous breakdown, but there was more to it than that. ‘They wouldn’t promote him,’ says my father. There’s a lot behind they (not we ), and wouldn’t (not didn’t). ‘He wasn’t properly appreciated.’ I think I know what this means. (Mr Risley to Elaine about Mr Banerji) Chapter 52

And I no longer know who’s writing. I think of him as staying always the same, but of course this can’t be true. He must know things by now that he didn’t know before, as I do. (Elaine about Stephen) Chapter 52

‘Don’t leave me,’ he says, running his hands over me; always before, not after. ‘I couldn’t bear it.’ This is an old-fashioned thing to say, and in another man I would find it comical, but not in Josef. I am in love with his need. (Elaine about Mr Hrbik) Chapter 53

‘I have no country,’ says Josef mournfully. He touches my cheek tenderly, gazing into my eyes. ‘You are my country now.’ (Mr Hrbik) Chapter 53

I remember my mean mouth, I remember how wise I thought I was. But I was not wise then. Now I am wise. (Elaine) Chapter 54

I watch for Cordelia, and when Prospero’s attendants come on, with music and jittery lighting effects, I peer hard, trying to see which one she is, behind the disguise of costume. But I can’t tell. (Elaine) Chapter 54

Josef is rearranging me. (Elaine) Chapter 55

‘Would you do anything for me?’ he says, gazing into my eyes. I sway toward him, far away from the earth. Yes would be so easy.
‘No,’ I say. This is a surprise to me. I don’t know where it has come from, this unexpected and stubborn truthfulness. It sounds rude. (Elaine) Chapter 55